I was preparing for our Mother’s Medicine Circle on self-nurturance and went to Webster’s dictionary to learn his definition of nurture. Smiling, I read…’to promote development by providing nourishment, support and encouragement during stages of growth’. Surprisingly, (or maybe not) a synonym for nurture is to nurse…’to treat or handle with care in order to further one’s own interests…to clasp or handle carefully or fondly’…all these definitions encompasses a mother’s daily life as nurturer.

How do we show up as conscious presence in our children’s life? The ways are endless but an essential one is to self-nurture. As we passed our talking stick around our circle and each woman shared what self-nurturance was to her, we noticed a thread of guilt uncovered for taking time for ourselves. Many women had been taught that self-sacrafice was the ‘better’ way to be. Yet as we continued our time together, it was unanimous that sitting together just talking about self-nurturance, itself, was nurturing.

Mama’s lives are so full-our days are jam-packed with the managing of a household and the nurturing of our families. But it’s hard to give when our cup is getting low. And we don’t often have an hour to go for a walk or take a yoga class or even sit in a bath.

I teach preschool and our morning circle time begins with a self-hug. A moment to ground in being in our bodies, a minute to soothe, comfort and stabilize our energies. (an additional benefit is that crossing your arms, crosses the midline and strengthens brain development!) The children always smile as I remind them to love themselves. Donna Eden, an energy worker teaches a technique similar to this. I’ve incorporated it into my day, including taking a few nice deep breaths and feeling gratitude for my life. A nice way to give myself conscious presence. Try it, it’s easy and sweet…give yourself a great big hug!

I passed around essential oils and we talked about ideas for self-nurturing for 5 minutes here and there. A few drops of lavender, rose or orange oil rubbed on our hands provided instant yummy sighs. Rub your ears, your hands, your feet. Let the smells soothe you…your touch anchor you…it will only take a few minutes and provides instant nurturance.

Who doesn’t like chocolate? We decided it is one of the four main food groups! I once heard Deepak Chopra say that eating should be a sensual experience. We laughed as we remembered Meg Ryan in ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and her memorable orgasm in the restaurant. We broke off pieces of chocolate and I encouraged each mama to make the chocolate last as long as she could…feel its deep yummy taste. Milk every moment of chocolate, of any act of self-nurturance for all its worth. Be in the present moment, be it with a hug, an ear massage or a piece of chocolate. You may only have a minute. Take it for all the gusto you can get!

I poured water and rose hydrosol into pink plastic champagne glasses and we ended our time together toasting to self-nurturance. My intention was that each mama would use this silly plastic champagne glass…to drink water…maybe a splash of wine…put it on her altar…that it would be a symbol-a reminder to consciously nurture herself so that she could more easily nurture her family.

We can’t control the length of our life, but we can control the depth and the width of it. Its important that we learn quick and easy ways to nurture ourselves throughout our days so we more easily give our children the gift of our conscious presence. Mamaste!