It was morning at my playschool program. Six of us were playing Duck, Duck, Goose when Brisa, a sweet four year old, suddenly burst into tears. One of her friends did some ‘tickly-thing’ to her. She didn’t like it so she started crying…a normal preschool reaction. I asked Brisa if I could hold her while she was sad and she climbed into my lap. Her friends stayed close and we all comforted her. A few minutes later, she was happy again and ready to rock and roll.

As I watched the children play, I thought about the value of my lap and of all the other laps in the world. Though often taken for granted, I began thinking that a mother’s lap is one of the most sacred, nourishing, nurturing and totally yummy places on the planet!

Think about it…For a child to sit on our lap, we must stop and sit down. In this fast-paced world, just stopping and sitting, in itself, is a blessing. The simple act of offering our lap to a child is offering our time and attention-both much-needed and revered commodities in a busy day. A lap is a sweet, yet vulnerable place, both for the sitter and the sittee. As we sit together, our arms hold and our heart centers touch-healing happens without any conscious thought or effort.

What if the L in LAP stood for LOVE? Isn’t a lap one of the most loving places on earth? It’s difficult being a child sometimes…it’s difficult being an adult sometimes. I found that as I comforted Brisa, I felt comforted. Though nothing was wrong with me, just nurturing her was nurturing in itself. Could it be that my lap was a place of love for this young one? I loved Brisa enough to let her sit ON me, not just WITH me. I gave her the gift of my comfort and support…a place to heal…an palpable space of lovingkindness.

How about the letting the A in LAP represent ACCEPTANCE and APPRECIATION? I accepted Brisa unconditionally. She was a child who needed my help and the best thing I could do for her was to accept her and her pain-no matter what it looked like. I rocked her, stroked her, accepted her…wails and all. I held her and her storm passed. I appreciated that my lap was a soft place for her to rest both her little butt and her little heart.

We are so outer focused. We want our children to be ready for preschool, ready for kindergarten…we want them to be the smartest, the fastest, the prettiest, the strongest. A lap is a place where a child doesn’t have to strive to be anything other than herself and often, a vulnerable her (or him!) at that. A lap is a precious valley where we can appreciate our child as we anchor and ground in who she is, no matter what she is experiencing.

Maybe the P in LAP could stand for PRESENCE. Our culture is so beyond busy, it’s insane. Crazy-busy is not the way of the child. Hey! We are human beings, not human doings! Children are present tense creatures. They are not lugging around the past or banking on the future. They don’t have a to-do list. They are in the now with whatever is happening…no judge, no jury. (Ah…the good ole days…) Our laps are places for children to simply BE.

I offered Brisa a soft place for her to be with her tears. She offered me a gift in return…a soft place to BE present as the nurturer that I am.

I’ve submitted this post to the Carnival of Presence on API Speaks.